DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Partial List of Successful and Popular Plays. Large Cataloeue Fr. 
Price 15c each. Postpaid, Unless Different PKce Is Gtven 



DRAMAS, COMEDIES, 
ENTERTAINMENTS, Etc. 

M. F. 

Aaron Boggs, Freshman, 3 

acts, 2^ hrs C25c) 8 8 

Abbu San ox Old Japan, 2 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 15 

After the Game, 2 acts, 1^ 

hrs. (25c) 1 9 

All a Mistake, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 4 4 

All on Account of Polly, 3 acts, 

2V4, hrs (25c) 6 10 

American Hustler, 4 acts, 2}^ 

hrs. (25c) 7 4 

As a Woman Thinketh, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 9 7 

At the End of the Rainbow, 3 

acts, 2^A hrs (25c) 6 14 

Bank Cashier, 4 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 8 4 

Black Heifer, 3 acts, 2 h. (25c) 9 3 
Boy Scout Hero, 2 acts, 1^ hrs. 

(2Sc) 17 

Brookdale Farm, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs (2Sc) 7 3 

Brother Josiah, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 7 4 

Burns Rebellion, 1 hr....(25c) 8 5 
Busy Liar, 3 acts, 2^ h. (25c) 7 4 
Civil Service, 3 acts, 2% hrs. 

(25c) 6 5 

College Town, 3 acts, 2l4 

hrs (25c) 9 8 

Danger Signal, 2 acts, 2 hrs. . 7 4 
Daughter of the Desert, 4 

acts, 254 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Deacon Dubbs, 3 acts, 2^ hrs. 

(25c) 5 5 

Deacon Entangled, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 

(25c) 6 4 

Down in Dixie, 4 acts, 2i/2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Dream That Came True, 3 

acts, 2J4 hrs (25c) 6 13 

Editor-in-Chief, 1 hr....(25c) 10 
Enchanted Wood, 1 34 h. (35c). Optnl. 
Everyyouth, 3 acts, 1 1^ h. (25c) 7 6 
Face at the Window, 3 acts. 2 

hrs (25c) 4 4,« 

Fun on the Podunk Limited, 

11/^ hrs (25c) 9 14.. 

Heiress of Hoetown, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 4 

Her Honor, the Mayor, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. (25c) 3 5 

High School Freshman, 3 acts, 

2 hrs. (25c) 12 

Honor of a Covvbov, 4 acts, 2^^ 

hrs '. (25c) 13 4 

Indian Days, 1 hr (50c) 5 2 



M. i. 

In Plum Valley, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs ^ (25c) 6 4 

Iron Hand, 4 acts, 2 hrs. . (25c) 5 4 
Jayville Junction, 1^/^ hrs.(25c)14 17 
Kicked Out of College, 3 acts, 

214 hrs (25c) 10 9 

Kingdom of Heart's Content, 3 

acts, 2li hrs (25c) 6 12 

Laughing Cure, 2 acts, 1J4 hirs. 

(25c) 4 5 

Lexington, 4 acts, 2^ h..(25c) 9 4 
Little Buckshot, 3 acts, 2^4 hrs. 

(:5c) 7 4 

Lodge of Kye Tyes, 1 hr. (25c)13 
Man from Borneo, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (2Sc) 5 2 

Mirandy's Minstrels. ... (25c) Optn!. 
Mrs. Tubbs of Shantytown, 3 

acts, 214, hrs ..(25c) 4 7 

New Woman, 3 acts, 1 hr.... 3 6 
Old Maid's Club, 1>4 hrs.(2Sc) 2 16 
Old Oaken Bucket, 4 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 8 6 

Old School at Ilick'ry Holler, 

154 hrs (25c) 12 9 

On the Little Big Horn, 4 acts, 

21^ hrs (25c) 10 4 

Out in the Streets, 3 acts, 1 hr. 6 4 
Parlor Matches, 2 acts, V/z hrs. 

(25c) 4 5 

Poor Married Man, 3 acts, 2 

hrs ...(25c) 4 4 

Prairie Rose, 4 acts, 2i/^ h.(25c) 7 4 
Rummage Sale, 50 min..... ... 4 10 

Rustic Romeo, 2 acts, 2% 

hrs ...(25c) 10 12 

Savageland, 2 acts, 2i>^ hrs. (50c) 5 5 
School Ma'am, 4 acts, 1^ hrs. 6 5 
Scrap of Paper, 3 acts, 2 hrs.. 6 6 
Sewing for the Heathen, 40 min. 9 
Southern Cinderella, 3 acts, 2 

hrs (25c) 7 

Star Bright, 3 acts, 2^ h. (?5c) 6 5 
Teacher, Kin I Go Home? 2 

scenes, 35 min 7 3 

Those Dreadful Twins, 3 acts, 

2 hrs (25c) 6 4 

Thread of Destiny, 3 acts, 2^ 

hrs. (25c) 9 16 

TllDny, the Convict, 5 acts, 2J^ 

, . krs ^ (25c) 7 4 

, Xown Marshal, 4 acts, 2^ 

hrs ,..(2Sc) 6 3 

Trial of Hearts, 4 acts, 2J4 hrs. 

(25c) 6 18 

Trip to Storyland, 1^/4 hrs. (25c) 17 23 
Uncle Josh, 4 acts, 214 hrs. (25c) 8 3 
Under Blue Skies, 4 acts, 2 

hrs. ■ (25c) 7 10 

Under the Laurels, 5 acts, 2 hrs. 6 4 
When the Circus Came to 

Town, 3 acts, 2J4 hrs. (25c) 5 3 



T. S- DENISON 9t COMPANY, Publishers, 1 54 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 



A COMEDY CHARACTER SKETCH 

FOR A SINGING QUARTETTE 



« BY 

FREDERICK G. JOHNSON 

AUTHOR OF 

'Foiled, By Heck!" "The Press-Agent's Handbook " composer of 
"Laughing Water" etc. 




CHICAGO 

T. S. DENISON & COMPANY, 

Publishers 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 



CAST OF HARMONIZERS. 

The Station Agent Rube Character. 

The Hotel Porter . Blackface Character. 

The Tramp Hobo Character. 

The Stranger Straight Juvenile. 

Note— This playlet, especially designed for a singing quartette, 
is arranged for the introduction of solo and quartette numbers, and 
will easily admit any special "stunts" which it may be desired to 
introduce. 



PROPERTIES. 

Wheelbarrow, trunk,, suitcase ; badge and bandana hand- 
kerchief for Agent; cigars for Stranger. 

Place — A Country Station. 

Time — Sometime Before the Five-Fifteen. 

Time of Playing — About Twenty Minutes. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS. 
R. means right of stage; C, center; R. C, right center; 
L., left; 1 F., first entrance; R. D., right door; L. D., left 
door, etc.; 1 G., first groove, etc. f The actor is supposed to 
be facing the audience. 

copyright. 1917. BY EBEN H. NORRIS. ^ JT U^^ 

©C!D 47792 ^^ 

SEP 12 1917 



• 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 



Scene : Exterior of a country railroad station, in i or 2. 
( Wood landscape drop may he used if necessary, or the act 
may be put on with no scenery at all.) Large sign, crudely 
painted, hanging on drop R, ''Beware of the Cars.'' {On 
the other side of the card is painted ''Safety First" and it 
hangs by a string so that it can be turned around.) 

Music: ''Turkey in the Straw," lively ^ to raise curtain. 

As curtain rises, loud locomotive effect is heard, gradually 
dying dozvn with music. A few Seconds after rise of cur- 
tain. Agent enters R., pushing a hand-truck or wheelbar- 
row, on which is a big trunk. At the same time, Stranger 
enters in haste, L. Agent dumps truck R. C. so that trunk 
falls to stage at moment when orchestra finishes music 
with a "break." Locomotive effect' dies away. Agent and 
Stranger meet at C: v ^^ . 

Stranger. Say, my friend, what train was that? 

Agent. Thet was th' four o'clock express. 

Stranger. Why, that was my train ! 

Agent. You're wrong, young feller. Thet train belongs 
t' th' railroad company. 

Stranger {looking at his watch). It's only three o'clock. 
That train is an hour fast ! 

Agent. Wrong again. It's twenty-three hours slow. 
(Stranger looks at him questioningly.) Thet was yistid- 
dy's train. 

Stranger. When does the next one go out? 

Agent. Tomorrer, I reckon. — If some pesky train rob- 
ber don't go an' steal the ingine. 

Stranger. Then I can't keep my contract. And that 
means I lose five hundred dollars ! 

Agent {whistles). Whew! Five hundred dollars! Why, 
ye kin git a special train f'r three dollars an' a half — only 
we ain't got no special trains. 

3 



4 AT HARMONY JUNCTION 

Stranger. I am in a terrible predicament ! 

Agent. Don't yew say nothin' about this here town ! 
I'm the station agent an' the sheriff, too (Shows badge), an' 
I'll run ye in, by thunder ! Who be ye, anyhaow ? 

Stranger. I am an operatic tenor, and a distinguished 
soloist. 

Agent. Ye can't kid me, ye slick city feller. Who be ye ? 

Stranger. I am a singer. 

Agent. Ye're a suspicious character, thet's what ye be. I 
like a little singin', naow an' then. If ye're a singer, prove 
it. (Stranger hesitates, Agent reaches to his hip pocket.) 
Sing, gosh darn ye ! Sing, 'r I'll pinch ye, in th' name o' 
th' law ! 

{As Stranger steps down to footlights, Agent with- 
drazvs hand from pocket, bringing out big red bandana 
handkerchief, with which he dusts off trunk and sits down 
on it. Solo by Stranger.) 

Agent {after song). Thet's pretty slick, all right, by 
ginger. Is thet all ye dew f 'r a livin' ? 

Stranger. Well, I have considerable versatility. 

Agent {jumping back threateningly). No ye don't, 
young feller ! This here's a dry taown, so keep y'r bottle 
in y'r pocket ! 

Stranger. I mean my talents are diversified. 

Agent. Ye can't borry a gosh darn cent off o' me. 

Stranger. You don't comprehend. I am a vaudeville 
entertainer. For instance, I am a ventriloquist. 

Agent. I ain't interested in them new fangled religions. 

Stranger. I will give you a little demonstration. {Looks 
off stage R., and calls) : Hello there, Bill ! {Holds lips 
almost motionless, and muffles his voice a trifle^ as he says) : 
Hello, Jack. {This is not supposed to be good ventriloquism. 
Anybody can do it well enough to get the comedy effect de- 
sired.) 

Agent {turning around suddenly and looking off R.). 
Gosh all punkins, who was thet? I don't see nobody. 

Stranger {laughing). Of course you don't. Now, lis- 
ten. {Calls off, as before.) Where did you come from, 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 5 

Bill? (Imitating other voice, as before.) Oh, look at the 
hayseed ! 

Agent (zvhirling around, hops on one foot and kicks 
other heel to the floor). Called me a hayseed, did he? 
Durn his hide ! I'll hayseed him, in th' name o' th' law 1 
{Starts R.) 

Stranger. Wait a minute, Uncle. Where are you going? 

Agent. It's thet tramp thet's been hangin' araound here, 
an' I'm goin' to pinch him, by hick'ry ! {Exits R.) 

Stranger {laughing). Ha, ha! I fooled the old buck- 
wheater that time. By the way, I wonder where that bell- 
boy is with my suitcase. {Looks L.) Oh, here he comes 
now, the lazy good-for-nothing. 

Enter Porter^ very tired, with suitcase. 

Stranger. Well, there you are, at last. 

Porter {looking at him sleepily). Huh? 

Stranger. I say, there you are. 

Porter. Yassir. Here I are. 

Stranger. What kind of language is that? Don't say 
"Here I are." 

Porter. Yassir. 

Stranger. "Here I is !" Where is your intelligence ? 

Porter. I nebber wear 'em 'cept on Sundays. 

Stranger. You blundering fool ! Here I is. 

Porter. Yassir. 

Stranger. Don't say "Yassir." 

Porter. No, sir. 

Stranger. That's better. 

Porter. Yassir. 

Stranger {threatening him). Don't say that! Why 
didn't you hurry with that bag? 

Porter. Hurry, Boss? Hurry? Why, Boss, I done 
come in a most pusilanimous hurry. 

Stranger {sarcastically) . Oh, you did, did you? 

Porter. Yassir. Don't you see de Presbyterian runnin' 
off o' me? 

Stranger. You are a worthless loafer. 

Porter. Yassir. 



6 AT HARMONY JUNCTION 

Stranger (angrily). Don't say that! 
Porter. Ya — No, sir. 

Stranger. ^Now you stay here and watch my suitcase. 
I'm going to look for the station agent. 
Porter. Yassir. 

Stranger turns threateningly toward him, then strides 
off R. Porter sits down on suitcase and immediately falls 
asleep. Mysterioso music, very soft, by orchestra. Lights 
may be turned down and spot lights used, if available, but 
this is not necessary. Enter Tramp, L. Tramp trips over 
Porter's feet, turns around and sees him, for the first time, 
and tries unsuccessfully to awaken him. Then takes match 
from vest pocket and lights toe of Porter's shoe. This can 
be zvorked by having attached to tip of shoe a small piece 
of asbestos wool, on which has been poured a few drops of 
alcohol. Bell rings loud off stage, and toy fire-engine, car- 
rying seltzer bottle, is pulled across stage by a string, from 
R. entrance to zvhere Porter is asleep, L. C. Music agitato. 
Porter rouses himself a little, sleepily takes bottle, squirts 
water on shoe, extinguishes flame, and replaces bottle on 
fire-engine. Fire bell rings the local ^'fire-out'' signal, en- 
gine is drawn off L., and Porter goes sound asleep. Music 
stops. Lights up. 

(Character song by Tramp. Tramp starts to exit R., 
after song.) 

Agent (off stage). Gosh durn the pesky cuss! If I 
ever ketch hold o' thet tramp — 

Tramp (stopping short). Something tells me that the 
climate isn't healthy over there. (Starts to exit L. Porter 
snores very loud.) And yonder Ethiopian beauty is sleep- 
ing so and. (Porter snores.) I never heard such a sound. 
(Creeping stealthily to Porter^ he leans over, snaps his fin- 
gers and shouts in Porter's ear:) Seven come eleven! 

Porter (tumbling off of suitcase, now wide awake). 
Little Joe, Little Joe ! O-o-h, Baby ! (Looks on floor for 
dice.) 

Agent (off stage). Hey! Stop thet noise, in th' name 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 7 

o' th' law! (Tramp looks off R., runs to sign and turns it 
around to read '^ Safety First," and jumps inside trunk.) 

Enter Agent and Stranger. 

Porter {rubbing his head). I done thought I heard the 
Heabenly sound ob angel voices. Who said seben come 
eleben? Guess I done been dreamin'. 

Stranger. I left you here to watch my suitcase. 

Agent. By ginger, he was asleep at th' switch. 

Porter. I wa'n't, neither. They ain't no switches on a 
single-track railroad. 

Stranger. You be quiet ! 

Porter. Yassir. (Falls asleep on suitcase.) 

Stranger. Now see here, Silas — 

Agent (kicking heel to floor). My name ain't Silas, 
gosh durn it — 

Stranger. Have a cigar, then, Reuben. (Hands him 
cigar. ) 

Agent. Don't mind if I — (Business with heel.) — gosh 
durn it, my name ain't Reuben ! 

Stranger. Now that I've told you how I did that little 
trick, you can do it just as well as I can. Suppose you try 
it on that colored boy. 

Agent. Jumpin' firecrackers ! Yew reckon I kin dew it ? 

Stranger. Of course you can. (Calls to Porter.) 
Here, you — Hey, Rastus ! — Sam ! — George Washington ! — 
Abraham Lincoln ! — Whitewash ! — Dingey ! — Smoke ! — 
(Meanwhile he shakes Porter's shoulder, calling louder and 
louder, but Porter sleeps on.) 

Agent. Wait a minute, stranger. I reckon as haow I 
kin learn ye a trick 'r tew. (Flaps his coat-tails, hops about 
and crows like a rooster.) 

Porter (zvaking up, smacks his lips and rolls his eyes). 
Oh, my! M-m ! Chicken pie fo' dinnah ! (Looks around.) 
Say, Boss, where's dat chicken? 

Stranger. There's no chicken here. It's only imagi- 
nary. 

Porter. I don't want no menagerie. All I want is 
a chicken. 



8 AT HARMONY JUNCTION 

Stranger. Now you be quiet, and watch your Uncle 
Jasper — 

Agent. Gosh durn it, my name ain't Jasper ! 

Stranger. All right. Uncle. 

Agent. I ain't your uncle, by hick'ry! 

Stranger {to Agent). Well, hurry up and do your 
trick before the audience goes to sleep. 

Agent. Well now, jest watch me, young feller. {Makes 
elaborate preparations and imitates Stranger's manner in 
an absurd way. Calls toward R.) Hello, over there! 

Stranger. That's fine ! Now make him answer. 

Agent {after making ridiculous facial movements, trying 
to ''throw his voice.") Jumpin' grasshoppers! I can't 
dew it ! 

Stranger. Try again. 

Agent {same business as before). Hello, over there? 

Tramp {from trunk). Hello, Sheriff, how are you? 

Agent {surprised but delighted). Great Hubbard 
squash, I done it ! ( With much satisfaction, lights cigar 
zvhich Stranger gave him.) 

Porter {frightened) . Say, Boss. Dere's somebody in 
dat trunk. 

Stranger. Nonsense. He threw his voice into the 
trunk. 

Porter. He threw a scare into dis here niggah, dat's 
what he done. 

Agent {to trunk). Well, Bill, how's all th' folks at 
home? 

Tramp {from trunk). Ain't nobody home. They'ye all 
gone to the . {Mentions local moving picture theatre.) 

Agent {zvell pleased with himself). Well, I guess thet's 
pretty durn slick, by juniper! 

Porter. Say, Boss. Dey's ghosts in dat trunk. Dis 
place is ha'nted, sure's yo' born ! Dis ain't no place f o' a 
good Mefodist niggah. {Starts off L.) 

Stranger. Here, you. I told you to watch my suitcase, 
didn't I? 

Porter. Yassir. 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 9 

Stranger. Don't say that ! 

Porter. I tell you, Boss, I jest can't. Dat ghost done 
scared de libin' syncopation right out o' me. 

Stranger. Why, it's no ghost. It's only a hallucination. 

Porter. 'Scuse me, Boss, it ain't neither. It's a ghost, 
dat's what it is ! 

Stranger. Well, if it's a ghost, we can drive it away. 

Porter. No, sah. Boss, we can't. I ain't fotch mah rab- 
bit's foot. 

Stranger. Well, how about a little church music ? You 
sing, and Uncle Ezra and I will join in the chorus. 

Agent (who has been puffing at his cigar, throws it 
dozvn). Gosh durn it, my name ain't Ezra! 

Porter (picking up cigar and smoking it). Yassir. 

Stranger. Don't say that ! 

Porter. A good old camp-meetin' tune. 

(Coon song by Porter.) 

(Just before the chorus he stands with the trunk at his 
right hand, Stranger and Agent standing to his left. As 
the chorus starts, trunk opens, and Tramp stands up, un- 
noticed by the others. They all sing the chorus. At close 
of song. Tramp holds his last note after the others have 
stopped. The three are puzzled. Tramp snatches cigar 
from Porter's hand, crouches dozvn into the trunk, and lid 
falls with a crash.) 

Agent. Thunderin' fishhooks! What was thet? 

Porter. Dis here station-house sure am ha'nted. 

Stranger. Have a cigar, Ebenezer. (Gives Agent a 
cigar. ) 

Agent (lighting cigar, then throwing match down an- 
grily). Gosh durn it — 

Stranger (interrupting and imitating him). My name 
ain't Ebenezer. 

Porter. 'Tain't no use a-talkin', they's spooks around 
here. I jest nachally feel mahself turnin' pale as a sheet. 

Stranger (laughing) . Why, that was only a joke. 

Agent. Thet's right, by heck! I was jest doin' a Httle 
ma-what-cha-ma-quism. 



10 AT HARMONY JUNCTION 

Stranger. Ventriloquism. Show him how you do it, 
Uncle. 

Agent (to trunk). Well, Bill, be ye here yit? 

Tramp (from trunk). Shut up, you chin-whiskered old 
buckwheater. (Agent puffs furiously at cigar. Tramp blozvs 
cloud of smoke through hole in trunk.) 

Agent. It's only a trick, but dog my cats if I know 
haow I do it ! 

Stranger. Why, it's just ventriloquism. 

Porter. No, Boss. I reckon anybody got de rheuma- 
tism can't do dis. (Dances ''break'' step. Tramp raps 
loud on trunk for last two taps.) 

Stranger. There's somebody in that trunk. 

Porter. Yassir. Dey surely am somebody in dat trunk. 
Dey's a ghost in dat trunk, dat's what dey is ! A great, big, 
white skelliken ghost come clean from de grabe-yard. I 
reckon maybe dey's two-three dozen ghosts in dat trunk, 
Boss! 

Agent (stuttering, very much frightened) , Say, Stran- 
ger, yew — yew don't figgur maybe they's something wrong 
with thet thar trunk, dew ye? 

Stranger. Of course not. (To Porter.) Open it up, 
Sam. 

Porter (on his knees). Oh, no. Boss. T can't do dat. 
Dat trunk is ha'nted, dat's what it am ! I reckon dey's a 
corpse in dat trunk ! We's all done gone and went and got 
voodood ! 

Stranger (sternly). Open that trunk ! (T'ramv makes 
terrific noise inside trunk.) 

Porter (on his knees, clasping hands toward trunk). Oh, 
please, Mr. Ghost, we ain't a-pickin' on you ! Stay in yo' 
nice little trunk, dat's a good ghost ! (More noise from 
trunk.) Mr. Ghost, you leave dis niggah alone, an' dis 
niggah won't touch a hair o' yo' head. (Trunk lid starts to 
rise.) Oh, Mr. Ghost! Please, please lay down! (Tramp 
opens trunk and stands up.) Oh, Hebben, have mercy on a 
good Melodist niggah ! 



AT HARMONY JUNCTION 11 

Stranger (laughing) . Why, it's only a poor tramp that 
hid in the trunk. 

Agent (to Tramp). Hey, who be yew? 

Tramp. Listen, Bo, is dis Kansas City? 

Agent. No, by Heck ! This is Harmony Junction. 

Tramp. Then, Porter, you can make up my berth again. 
'(Starts to get back into trunk.) 

Agent. Hey, who be yew, in th' name o' th' law? 

Tramp (loftily). I? I am a grand opera tenor in dis- 
guise. 

Agent. Oh, be yew another one o' them singers. 

Tramp. Well, I guess. I'm the guy they named the 
Singer sewing machine after. But I'm kind o' husky in de 
pipes. Dese Pullman sleepers (Points to trunk.) is so drafty. 

Stranger. Well, let's hear what you can do. 

Tramp. All right. Will youse guys back me up? 

(Quartette number. Here may be introduced any other 
musical numbers or stunts not provided for elsewhere in 
the sketch. At the conclusion of the last number, train 
zvhistle is heard in the distance, then locomotive effect, grow- 
ing louder until next number begins.) 

Stranger (to Agent). Say, I thought you told me 
there were no more trains today. 

Agent (scratching his head). Well, by heck, thet must 
be th' train thet was due th' day before yistiddy ! 

(Final quartette number, preferably a "good-bye," ''rail- 
road," ''traveling," or "back-home" song.) 

Curtain. 




Denison's Vaudeville Sketches 

For Male Characters 

Price, 15 Cents Each, Postpaid 

THE COMING CHAMPION.— Colored sketch 
with a burlesque boxing bout, by Harry L. New- 
ton. 2 males. Scene: A restaurant. A black 
waiter and a mulatto fight promoter, A twenty 
minute "go" in which humor wins in a cyclone 
finish. 

A DUTCH COCKTAIL.— Vaudeville talking 
act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 20 
minutes. Wienerwurst and Schmerekaze con- 
coct a Dutch mixture that will tickle the most 
exacting and fun-craving palate. 

FIVE MINUTES FROM YELL COLLEGE.— Dutch, rapid-fire 
talking act, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. 
Jack Schmaltz, who got the learning, and his uncle, who paid 
for it. A ludicrous investigation into the value of higher edu- 
cation. 

FOR REFORM. — Political satire for a singing quartette, by Harry 
Li. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. The boss, the ward 
heeler, the reform candidate and the office boy. The wheels of 
this political machine are lubricated with real humor. 

THE LITTLE RED SCHOOL HOUSE.— A burlesque sketch on 
education for a singing quartette, by Harry L. Newton; 4 males. 
Time, 20 minutes. Heine Picklebrodt, the German teacher. John- 
nie Redd, the bad boy. Willie Green, the nice boy. Ikey Gold- 
silver, the Hebrew boy. A school where scholars and mirth run 
rampage, heeding not the teacher's rules. Any number of songs 
can be introduced. 

OSHKOSH NEXT WEEK.— A sketch for a singing quartette, by 
Harry L. Newton; 4 males. Time, 20 minutes. Three hungry 
young actors without money waiting for next week's engagement 
and an ingenious bell boy, who injects enough action and humor 
into the situation, to keep their thoughts from dwelling long on 
home and ham and eggs well done. Any number of songs can 
be introduced. 

AN OYSTER STEW.— A rapid-fire talking act, by Harry L. 
Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 10 minutes. Dick 
Tell, a knowing chap. Tom Askit, not so wise. This act is filled 
to overflowing with lightning cross-fires, pointed puns and hot 
retorts. 

PICKLES FOR TWO. — Dutch rapid-fire talking act, by Harry 
L. Newton and A. S. Hoffman; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Hans, 
a German mixer. Gus, another one. Unique ludicrous Dutch 
dialect, interspersed with rib-starting witticisms. 

THE RECRUITING OFFICE.— Vaudeville talking act, by Harry 
L. Newton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Irish comedians, "rough 
and straight." A laughing novelty with just enough plot to make 
the hinges work smoothly. 

A SPECIAL SALE. — Jew sketch, by Harry L. Newton; 2 males. 
Time, 15 minutes. Anson, a pawnbroker, sells Solomon a coat at 
a reduction. Save up your laughter for this sale. 

TWO JAY DETECTIVES.— A rural riot of comedy, by Harry L. 
Newton; 3 males. Time, 15 minutes. Two correspondence school 
detectives, a busy landlord, ludicrous clues and humorous deduc- 
tions. The shadowing and the investigations of these Reubens un- 
cover some real mirth. 

THE UMBRELLA MENDER.— Vaudeville act. by Harry L.. New- 
ton; 2 males. Time, 15 minutes. Beginning with a shower and 
ending in a downpour of Jew jokes and Irish gags. 

T. S. DEMSON & COMPANY, 154 W. Randolph St., Chicago 



DENISON'S ACTING PLAYS 

Price IS Cents Each, Postpaid, Unless Different Price Is Given 



M. F. 

Winning Wido\V, 2 acts, VA hrs. 

(25c) 2 4 

Women Wlio'Did," V hv'. '. '. (25c) 17 

Yankee Detective, 3 acts, 2 hrs. 8 3 

FARCES, COMEDIETAS, Etc. 

All on a Summer's Day, 40 min. 4 6 

April Fools, 30 min 3 

Assessor, The, 10 min....... 3 2 

Baby Show at Pineville, 20 min. 19 

Lilly's Chorus-'Girl, 25 min... 2 3 

Billy's Mishap, 20 min 2 3 

Borrowed Luncheon, 20 min.. 5 

Borrowing Trouble, 20 min.... 3 5 
Case Against Casej% 40 min... 23 

Country Justice, 15 min 8 

Cow that Kicked Chicago, 20 m. 3 2 

DivfBed Attentions, 35 min 1 4 

Dude in a Cyclone, 20 min.... 4 2 

Family Strike, 20 min 3^ 3 

First-Class Hotel, 20 min.... 4 

For Love and Honor, 20 inin.. 2 1 

Fudge and a Burglar, 15 min.. 5 
Fun in Photo Gallery, 30 min.. 6 10 
Great Medical Dispensary, 30 m. 6 
Great Pumpkin Case, 30 min.. 12 

Hans Von Smash, 30 min.... 4 3 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, 25 rnin. 3 2 
Initiating a Granger, 25 min.. 8 

Irish Linen Peddler, 40 min... 3 3 

Is the Editor In? 20 min... 4 2 

Kansas Immigrants, 20 min... 5 1 

Men Not Wanted, 30 min 8 

Mike Donovan's Courtship, 15 m. 1 3 

Mother Goose's Goslings, 30 m. 7 9 

Mrs. Jenkins' Brilliant Idea, 35m. 8 

Mrs. Stubbins' Book Agent, 30 m. 3 2 

My Wife's Relations, 1 hr.... 4 6 

Not a Man in the House, 40 m. 5 

Pair of lunatics, 20 min 1 1 

Patsy O'Wang, 35 min....... 4 3 

Pat, the Apothecary, 35'min.. 6 2 

Persecuted Dutchman, 30 min. 6 3 

Regular Fix, 35 min 6 4 

Second Childhood, 15 min 2 2 

Shadows, 35 min 2 2 

Sing a Song of Seniors, 30 min. 7 

Taking Father's Place, 30 min. 5 3 

Taming a Tiger, 30 min 3 

That Rascal Pat. 30 min 3 2 

Those Red Envelopes, 25 min. 4 4 
Too Much of a Good Thing, 45 

min - . . 3 6 

Turn Him Out, 35 min 3 2 

Two Aunts and a Photo, 20 m. 4 
Two Gentlemen in a Fix, 15 m. 2 

Two Ghosts in White, 20 min . . 8 

Two of a Kind, 40 min 2 3 

Uncle Dick's Mistake, 20 min.. 3 2 

Wanted a Correspondent, 45 m. 4 4 

Wanted a Hero, 20 min 1 1 



M. F. 

Wide Enough for Two, 45 min. 5 2 

Wrong Baby, 25 min 8 

Yankee Peddler, 1 hr 7 3 

VAUDEVILLE SKETCHES, MON- 
OLOGUES, ETHIOPIAN PLAYS. 

Ax'in' Her Father, 25 min 2 3 

Booster Club of Blackville, 25 m.lO 
Breakfast Food for Two. 20 m. 1 1 

Cold Finish, 15 min 2 1 

Colored Honeymoon, 25 min. . . 2 2 
Coon Creek Courtship, 15 min. 1 1 
Coming Champion, 20 min.... 2 
Coontown Thirteen Club, 25 m. 14 

Counterfeit Bills, 20 min 1 1 

Darktown Fire Brigade, 25 min. 10 
Doings of a Dude, 20 min.... 2 1 

Dutch Cocktail, 20 min 2 

For Reform, 20 min 4 

Fresh Timothy Hay, 20 min.. 2 1 
Glickman, the Glazier, 25 min. 1 1 
Good Mornin' Judge, 35 min.. 9 2 

Her Hero, 20 min 1 1 

Hey, Rube! 15 rnin 1 

Home Run, 15 min 1 1 

Jumbo Jum, 30 min 4 3 

Little Red School House. 20 m. 4 

Love and Lather, 35 min 3 2 

Marriage and After, 10 min.. 1 

Memphis Mose, 25 min 5 1 

Mischievous Nigger, 25 min.. 4 2 

Mistaken Miss, 20 min 1 1 

Mr. and Mrs. Fido, 20 min 1 1 

Oh. Doctor! 30 min 6 2 

One Sweetheart for Two, 20 m. 2 
Oshkosh Next Week, 20 min . . 4 

Oyster Stew, 10 min 2 

Pete Yansen's Gurl's Moder, 10m. 1 

Pickles for Two, IS min 2 

Pooh Bah of Peacetown, 35 min. 2 2 
Prof. Black's Funnygraph, 15 m. 6 

Sham Doctor, 10 min 4 2 

Si and I, 15 min 1 

Special Sale, 15 min 2 

Stage Struck Darky, 10 min.. 2 1 
Sunny Son of Italy, 15 min.. 1 

Time Table, 20 min 1 1 

Tramp and the Actress, 20 min. 1 1 
Troubled by Ghosts, 10 min... 4 
Troubles of Rozinski, 15 min.. 1 
Two Jay Detectives, 15 min.. 3 
Umbrella Mender, IS min.... 2 

Uncle Jeff, 25 min 5 2 

What Happened to Hannah, 15m. 1 1 



A srsat number of 

Standard and Amateur Plays 

not found here are listed In 

Denlson's Catalogue 



T.S.DENISON & COMPANY,Publishers,154W. Randolph St., Chicago 



nSi!^^^ OP CONGRESS 



POPULAR ENTERTAINMti^^;!^^^ ' 

Price, Illustrated Paper Covers, 30 cents each 




IN this Series 
are found 
books totiching 
every feature 
in the enter- 
tainment field. 
Finely made, 
good paper, 
cleai print and 
each book has 
an attractive 
individual cov- 
er design. 



• A Partial List 

DIALOGUES 



Al 



Sorts of Dialogues. 

Selected, fine for older pupils. 
Catchy Comic Dialogues. 

Very clever; for young people. 
Children's Comic Dialogues. 

From six to eleven years of- age. 
Country School Diaiogues. 

Brand new, original- 
Dialogues for District Schools. 

For coufttry schools. 
Diaiogues from Dicl<ens. 

Thirteen selections. 
The Friday Afternoon Dialogues. 

Over 50,000 copies sold. 
From Tots to Teens. 

Dialogues and recitations. 
Humorous Homespun Dialogues. 

For older ones. 
Little People's Plays. 

From , 7 to 13 years of age. 
Liv^ely Diaiogues. 

For all ages; mostly humorous. 
Merry Little Diaiogues. 

Thirty-eight original selections. 
When the Lessons are Over. 

Dialogues, drills, plays. 
Wide Awake Dialogues. 

Original Successful. 

SPEAKERS, MONOLOGUES 

Choice Pieces for Little People. 

A child's speaker. 
The Comic Entertainer. 

Recitations, monologues, dialogues. 
Dialect Readings. 

Irish, Dutch, Negro, Scotch, etc. 
The Favorite Speaker. 

Choice prose and poetry. 
The Friday Afternoon Speaker. 

Foj- pupils of all ages, 
Huhiorous Monologue^. 

Particularly for ladies. 
Monologues for Young Folks. 

Clever, humorous, original. 



Monologues Grave and Gay. 

Dramatic and humorous. 
Scrap- Book Recitations. 

Choice collections, pathetic, hu- 
morous, descriptive, prose, 
poetry. 15 Nos., per No. 25c 

DRILLS 

The Best Drill Book. 

Very popular drills and marches. 
The Favorite Book of Drills. 

Drills that sparkle with originality. 
Little Piaya With Drills. 

For children from 6 to 11 years. 
The Surprise Drill Book. 

Fresh, novel, drills and marches. 

SPECIALTIES 

The Boys' Entertainer. 

Monologues, dialogues, drills. 
Children's Party Book. 

Invitations, decorations, games. 
The Days We Celebrate. 

Entertainments for all th'e holidays. 
Good T'angs for Christmas. 

Recitations, dialogues, drills. 
Good Things for Sunday Schools. 

Dialogues, exercises, recitations. 
Good Things for Thanksgiving. 

A gem of a book. 
Good Things for Washington 

and Lincoln Birthdays. 
Little Folks' Budget. 

Easy pieces tc speak, songs. 
One Hundred Entertainments. 

New parlor diversions, socials. 
Patriotic Celebrations. 

Great variety of material. 
Pictured Readings and Tableaux. 

Entirely original .features. 
Pranks and Pastimes. 

Parlor games for children. 
Private Theatricals. 

How to put on plays. 
Shadow Pictures, Pantomimes, 

Charades, and how to prepare. 
Tableaux and Scenic Readings. 

New and novel; for all ages. 
Twinkling Fingers and Sway- 

irjg Figures. For little tots. 
Yuletide Entertainments. 

A choice Christmas collection. 

MINSTRELS, JOKES 

Black Arnerican Joker. 

Minstrels' and end men's gags. 
A Bundle of Burnt Cork Comedy. 

Monologues, stump speeches, etc. 
Laughland, via the Ha-Ha Route. 

A merry trip for fun tourists. 
Negro Minstrels. 

All about the business. 
The New Jolly Jester. 

Funny stories, jokes, gags, etc. 

Large Illustrated Catalogue Free 



T.S. DENESON & COMPANY, Publishers,154 W. Randolph St. , Chicago 



